Confident Curvy Girl 101
SIGNS YOU MAY BE IN NEED OF A CCG INTERVENTION
1. You have fantasies that start with “If I start dieting now, I will be skinny by [insert event].” I tend to do this every time I have a trip planned, a high school reunion to attend, or any other special event at which I know I’ll want to impress people.
2. The thought of losing weight is always on your mind. It creeps in and out of your thoughts all day long. In fact, most decisions you make—or don’t make—are influenced by your weight.
3. You pass up fun opportunities because you don’t feel like you look good in the appropriate attire: a bathing suit, tennis skirt, sleeveless dress, wet suit, shorts, costume, or party dress.
4. You dread being a bridesmaid because you are afraid the bride is going to put you in an unflattering dress or that the skinny bridesmaids will make you look big. You pray that you’ll be able to wear something that covers your problem areas—arms, tummy, and legs.
5. You say no to par ties, events, or even dates because you feel like you look too fat.
6. You turn down fun nights out at the club because you assume none of the guys will like you and you will come home disappointed.
7. The thought of your guy seeing you naked for the first time is terrifying. You think to yourself, “I sure hope he doesn’t want to get it on in the broad daylight!” The mere thought fills you with anxiety.
8. You want to work out at the gym, but you feel uncomfortable doing the downward dog yoga pose or jiggling on the treadmill in front of all the gym rats.
9. You are convinced that you are undisciplined, unmotivated, unattractive, undesirable, and undeserving. You believe that you have no self-control or willpower, because if you did, you would be skinny like everyone else.
10. It just feels more comfortable not to put yourself out there because of the fear of rejection.
CCG STEP #3
Don’t Be a Phooey Vuitton
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”
A fake designer bag seems like a no-brainer: get the luxury look you want without the luxury price tag. Until the handle breaks. Or you see someone with the genuine article snickering at your knockoff.
A replica will never match up to the real thing because it’s dishonest; whatever qualities made the original special are lost in translation.
While a fake handbag can be thrown out, a fake person isn’t as easy to fix. Famous poet Friedrich Klopstock advised, “To only dream of the person you are supposed to be is to waste the person you are.”
Curvy girls, please don’t spend your life longing to be somebody else. You will only end up disappointed and sad.
I used to fantasize about being granted one wish. I wouldn’t wish for world peace, good health, or riches. I would wish to be skinny. Not only to be skinny, but to be able to eat anything I wanted and still be skinny. I have moments of feeling this way even now, but I remind myself of my personal mantra: “I am hot, healthy, and happy. Everywhere I go, men are attracted to me.” (We’ll talk more about personal mantras later in the book.)
In order to attract men, you need to recognize just how truly magnificent you are!
“Most of our challenges in life come from not knowing ourselves and ignoring our true virtues.”
~John Mason, American drama critic and author
The key to recognizing your awesomeness is to make a list of your attributes. Ideas for your list could include:
- Good friend
- Pretty hair
- Good cook
After writing your list, ask your friends and family what they think your best attributes are. You will be surprised by all the magnificent qualities you have of which you weren’t even aware. Read your list at least once a day and keep it in a place that you can get to easily when your confidence is weak.
Ready, Aim, Fire!
Don’t Order a Burger at a Chinese Restaurant!
Do you know someone who is never satisfied with their food? My mother is that person. She orders the most obscure thing on the menu and is shocked when it isn’t good.
Bad daters act the same way: they complain about the quality of their dates without realizing that they are looking in the wrong places.
Getting more dates than your skinny friends is simple: go where the guys go. Just like my mother needs to go to a burger joint for her fix, you need to search for a date in places where high-quality men are plentiful.
I know what you’re thinking: “That’s way too easy.” But it truly is that simple. While your girly hobbies and interests might be fun, they aren’t going to get you dates. For example, a friend of mine joined a knitting group called Chicks with Sticks. Needless to say, that’s not a good place to get a guy!
The first rule of finding dates can be summed up in just two words: get out! Getting out serves two purposes: it gives you access to potential dates while also helping you to become more interesting.
For example, a potential date may ask, “What did you do today?” Do you think he will respond more positively to:
- A) “I stayed in and watched a Real Housewives marathon in my pajamas.” Or,
- B) “I met some friends for lunch and took a pottery class.”?
You can meet guys anywhere as long as you are friendly, charming, and maintain the right attitude. Be a CCG with an open mind and positive attitude every time you leave the house. It’s imperative to finding the dates you desire.